Don’t do these things, and you’ll be just fine

In honor of us living in our house for a little over a year, I decided to make a top ten list of the dumb things I have done as a new homeowner.  Because, what better way to spend a Sunday evening than laughing at yourself?  So, without further ado, I give you: particularly dumb things I did in the first year of owning the house, that I will try very hard never EVER to do again:

1. Spray painting on the back deck during a fall windstorm. We used to have a gray deck, now we have a gray and black splotched back deck
2. Leaving keys in front door lock overnight, with the porch light shining straight on them.
3. Setting the thermostat to 71 degrees…and leaving it at that 24/7…turns out in a house with single paned windows that rattle in the wind, that’s $300+ worth of heat per month
4. Don’t ever use black chalk spray paint for a touch up job when the following conditions are true: you have not taped the things you don’t want painted, and you haven’t checked where the nozzle of the can is pointing.
5. Leaving the back door unlocked. For three weeks.
6. Spending an entire Saturday afternoon raking the fall leaves up when there is still half of them left on the trees.
7. We have a cute old fashioned claw foot tub. When the rod that carries the water upward to the showerhead becomes detached, sending water spraying all over the bathroom, the proper response is to calmly turn off the water, not scream for your husband’s help while you stare at it.
8. I decided to hang some pictures. So I grabbed the necessary tools and began hammering the nail into the drywall. Except it was plaster…not drywall.
9. I pulled an electrical outlet out from the wall and proceeded to shock myself. Turns out you shouldn’t go yanking those things out of the wall, or touching the metal bits on them
10. And finally, #10, when you are throwing queen size box springs off the second story balcony and want to avoid the baby apple tree in the middle of the yard, I would suggest overcompensating with your aim and going WAY far left, or WAY far right. Otherwise, it may just go sailing straight into said fruit tree, killing it instantly.